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Can't Sit Still
Track Listing
- Walkin' to the Bus Stop
read lyrics | hear sample - Jumpin' Beans O'Grady
read poem | hear sample - I Love the Beach
read lyrics | hear sample - It's My Job
- Weird Kid in the Class
read lyrics - Dragon Breath
read lyrics - Nobeard
read poem - Big Muddy
read lyrics | hear sample - Go Jump in the Water
read lyrics - Mr. Aster's Disaster
read poem - Monkey Boy
- I Can't Sit Still
read lyrics | hear sample
I'm walkin’ to the busstop
I'm walkin’ to the busstop
I'm walkin’ to the busstop bundled up from head to toe
my feet they make a crunching sound as I walk through the snow
my heart starts beating faster - because up ahead I see
the bully at the busstop, he's waiting there for me
I know what he is thinking - yes, I know what he has planned
I know that he has got a giant snowball in his hand
my arms are full of bags and books
I do not stand a chance
I know that snowball's gonna knock me clear to Paris, France
but there's nothing I can do - there's nothing I can say
I've got to be brave, I've got to be strong, I cannot run away
and so I'm walkin’ to the busstop
I'm walkin’ to the busstop
closer and closer - and I am nearly there
I know he's gonna get me - man, this really isn't fair
I can see his beady bully eyes - I know he doesn't care
and then he starts to raise that snowball high up in the air
my steps are getting smaller - he's got me in his sights
I know that soon my face will be all cold and wet and white
because his bully aim is pefect - I know he'll never miss
I try in vain to think if there is someway out of this
But then his arm goes back - and I hear him laugh
and he lets that snowball fly
then just by luck - somehow - I duck
and that snowball - it goes right by!
and I think, "WHAT? - how can this be???
I mean, That bully has never missed before - how could he have missed me?"
but then I hear a sound that makes me break into a grin
because at that very moment - the bus was pulling in
and the snowball was still flying as the doors, they open wide
and that snowball hits the bus driver right between the eyes!
she's really mad - her face turns red - she starts to yell and scream
she makes that bully sit up front - man, this is like a dream!
but I know it isn't over - Oh, no - I know it's not the end
'cause come tomorrow morning - he'll be waiting there again
and I'll be walkin’ to the busstop
walkin’ to the busstop
Oh I love the beach
'cuz every time I go
I get sand in my sandwich
and salt water up my nose
we're goin' to the beach today
we're goin' to the ocean
when we go there we always seem
to cause a big commotion
we like to swim and run around
we like to play with beach toys
but I think the thing we love the most
is making lots of NOISE!
Oh I love the beach
'cuz every time I go
I get sand in my sandwich
and salt water up my nose
My parents say "Now don't forget
to wear your sunblock lotion!"
it's SPF 1 million
and it won't wash off in the ocean
we'll never get a sunburn
and that's a real good thing
'cause that greasy stuff'll stay on your skin
'til the middle of next spring
Oh I love the beach
'cuz every time I go
I get sand in my sandwich
and salt water up my nose
my father loves the beach
y'know he says he can relax
he likes to read and fall asleep
while he's lyin' on his back
one day while he was snoozin'
my mom said "what the heck"
and we buried him in beach sand
all the way up to his neck
Oh I love the beach
'cuz every time I go
I get sand in my sandwich
and salt water up my nose
we've got
sunglasses, your toenails
earplugs, noseplugs
just to keep us in the shade
Cheez-its, Oreos
a big loud radio
water jug
plastic mug
don't forget to bring the stuff
you use keep away the bugs
books and blankets
beachball too
a brand new boogie board just for you
we got crayons, pencils
plastic utensils
bar-b-cue potato chips
sour cream and onion dip
lemonade, Gatorade
rollerblades, band-aids
big yellow umbrella
fishing pole, wader boots
scuba gear, wetsuit
flip flop sandles
and citronella candles
a styrofoam cooler with broken handles
water wings
sunscreen
newspapers, magazines
shovels and sandpails
stuff to paint
floatation rings
and medicine for bee stings
and every single kind of thing
that you could ever want to bring
now here comes the part where you all sing
Oh I love the beach
'cuz every time I go
I get sand in my sandwich
and salt water up my nose
I love the beach so very much
it is my favorite place
next time I promise not to splash
my sister in the face
I hope that we'll come back real soon
cuz I love the nice white sand
for now I'll bring some home with me
in the seats of our new van
Oh I love the beach
'cuz every time I go
I get sand in my sandwich
and salt water up my nose
I said I’m the weird kid in the class
I said I'm the weird kid in the class
everybody says I’m a little bit strange
but there’s one thing you can bet
I’m the kid in the class
that you never ever will forget
I said I’m the weird kid in the class
I said I'm the weird kid in the class
you know me
I sit right behind you in the second row
I'm always makin' funny noises and crackin’ my knuckles
and blowin’ my nose
remember how you laughed when I came into class
with a pink and purple wig on my head
and when you gave an apple to the teacher
I gave her a potato instead
I said I’m the weird kid in the class
I said I'm the weird kid in the class
Well now, the project that I made for geography class
it gave the teacher a terrible shock
because I made a model of the Sahara desert
out of my cat’s litterbox
you know that Show and Tell, it was really swell
I brought in my pet skunk Shirley
and all the kids ran away - but that was okay
because the teacher let us go home early
I said I’m the weird kid in the class
I said I'm the weird kid in the class
One of these days I’m gonna grow up
but I’ll still be a little bit wierd
I might drive a funny lookin Pickup truck
or grow a crazy little beard
I might do a dance while I’m tryin' on pants
in a big department store
and somebody might see me and say to themselves
"Where have I seen that guy before? (don’t you remember?)
I said I’m the weird kid in the class
I said I'm the weird kid in the class
I have a little story that I'm ready tell
And it goes something like this
you see, long ago there lived a prince
and he just couldn't get a kiss
And it wasn't because he was ugly
No that wasn't the problem he had
he was brave and strong, but there was one thing wrong
His breath was very bad
He had Dragon Breath - HHHHAAHH!
Let me hear you do the dragon breath
He had Dragon Breath - HHHHAAHH!
Every body was scared to death
Every day he got dressed in his princely best
red velvet and a golden crown
then he would say "I'm getting kissed today"
And he would walk out into the town
Every princess, every maiden fair
Would greet him as he walked on by
But when he said "HHHello", well I guess you know
Every one of them would say "goodbye!'
He had Dragon Breath - HHHHAAHH!
that's what he had
He had Dragon Breath - HHHHAAHH!
Every body was scared to death
One day the poor prince couldn't take it anymore
He sat down on the ground and cried
Just then a big buzzard who was flying around
Came and landed at the Prince's side
She shook her featherless head and then the buzzard said
" Hey buddy, what's the matter with you?"
and then the prince told his story - she said "Don't worry
my breath is pretty terrible too
I got Dragon Breath - HHHHAAHH!
that's what the buzzard said
she had Dragon Breath - HHHHAAHH!
and then the buzzard said to him
" Now listen, if it's just a little kissin' that you're missin'
I don't mind if you kissed me"
The Prince said, "You? That'll never do!"
She said, "Why don't you pucker up and see?"
Well the Prince was afraid and a bit dismayed
He said, "I can't believe I'm doing this"
but the buzzard was waitin' - there was no hesitatin'
So he gave her just a little kiss (like this)
There was a big cloud of smoke and this ain't no joke
When the Prince opened up his eyes
A princess stood where the buzzard had been
And the Prince he was quite surprised
The princess smiled and the prince was beguiled
At last his life was complete
He said "Will you be mine?" and when she said "FFFFine"
She knocked him right off of his feet
She had Dragon Breath - HHHHAAHH!
that's what the princess had
She had Dragon Breath - HHHHAAHH!
but to him it was a heavenly scent
She had Dragon Breath - HHHHAAHH!
and they rode off into the sunset
Hey Big muddy
I wish that you could stay
Hey Big muddy
Spring is on the way
Big Muddy is my snowman
but he’s not like all the rest
he’s full of sticks and grass and rocks
but I swear that he's the best
his head is not quite round, you see
it’s shaped more like a cone
and his eyes are made from bottle caps
and his nose is a chicken bone
his arms are made from a broken bat
and his scarf is ripped and shoddy
bubblegum wrappers and paper cups
adorn his lumpy body
his hat is wet and smelly
and he wears a crooked grin
Big Muddy is my snowman
the best that’s ever been
Hey Big muddy
I wish that you could stay
Hey Big muddy
Spring is on the way
Well, I made him on a Saturday
when the snow had almost gone
and I scraped some from the gutter
and a few clumps from the lawn
I balled up bits of slush and muck
whatever I could find
and built him out of all the stuff
that others left behind
I found a few last bits of snow
out back behind the shed
and I packed it and I rolled it
and I made his pointy head
and at last he was completed
my funky frozen friend
Big Muddy - my snowman
the best that’s ever been
Hey Big muddy
I wish that you could stay
Hey Big muddy
Spring is on the way
well, when my friend’s saw Muddy
they said, "That snowman stinks!"
My mother said, "Please take that down!
What will the neighbors think !?"
I pretended not to notice
I pretended not to hear
because I was proud of Muddy
my last snowman of the year
I stayed with him ‘til it got late
and then I said goodbye
and I swear I saw a rusty tear
in his bottlecap eyes
that night I watched him from my room
as I lay in my bed
I opened up the window
and this is what I said
Hey Big muddy
I wish that you could stay
Hey Big muddy
Spring is on the way
and that night
I slept and I slept and I slept and I slept
and it felt like I slept for a hundred years
and when I woke up on Sunday
the sun was shining bright
I looked out of the window
and saw a dreadful sight
because in the spot where Muddy was
there lay a scarf and hat
two bottlecaps, and a chicken bone
and a broken baseball bat
then I saw the first spring robin
she was sitting in a tree
and she swallowed the worm that she was eating
and then she sang with me
Hey Big muddy
you’d better be on your way
Hey Big muddy
Spring is here to stay
Hey Big muddy
you’d better be on your way
Hey Big muddy
Spring is here to stay
Go Jump in the Water (The Tide Song)
what do you do when you wake up late
(go jump in the water)
and your breakfast slides right off the plate
(go jump in the water)
well, you run to the corner but you miss the bus
(go jump in the water)
well, you might as well jump in with the rest of us
(go jump in the water)
the tide goes out
and the tide comes in
and you can't stop it
that's the way it's always been
what can you do when you lose the game
(go jump in the water)
and there's some kid callin' you a stupid name
(go jump in the water)
well, you're havin' a picnic and it starts to rain
(go jump in the water)
well, you can't cry and you can't complain
(go jump in the water)
the tide goes out
and the tide comes in
and you can't stop it
that's the way it's always been
well, you woke up with a big poison ivy rash
(go jump in the water)
and you didn't get to go to the birthday bash
(go jump in the water)
well, it's a hundred-and-ten degrees in the shade
(go jump in the water)
and your sister drank the last glass of lemonade
(go jump in the water)
the tide goes out
and the tide comes in
and you can't stop it
that's the way it's always been
Well, some things just can't be un-done
(go jump in the water)
but you know they happen to everyone
(go jump in the water)
so if you spring a leak in your boat
(go jump in the water)
you might as well lay on your back and float
(go jump in the water)
the tide goes out
and the tide comes in
and you can't stop it
that's the way it's always been
well, I was sitting in the kitchen
just the other day
I got a funny feeling
and it wouldn't go away
I started tappin' on the table
and kickin' with my feet
movin' and groovin'
and squirmin' in my seat
my mother looked at me
and said "boy, what is wrong with you?
why don't you go outside and play
or find something to do?"
so I got up from the table
and I did a little dance
my mother looked at me
and said "You've got ants in your pants!"
I CAN'T SIT STILL
I CAN'T SIT STILL
don't want to be a pain
please let me explain
I CAN'T SIT STILL
I CAN'T SIT STILL
but it's okay
I will someday
I went upstairs into my room
and I laid down on my bed
pretty soon
I got an catchy rhythm in my head
I started jumpin'
on the mattress
and then I jumped some more
then I looked up and I saw my father
standing in the door (Whoops!)
my father said "excuse me
that is not as trampoline!
I swear you are the jumpin-est kid
that I have ever seen!"
I told him I was sorry
" it won't happen anymore"
but then I couldn't help myself
and jumped right out the door
I CAN'T SIT STILL
I CAN'T SIT STILL
don't want to be a pain
please let me explain
I CAN'T SIT STILL
I CAN'T SIT STILL
but it's okay
I will someday
It's hard to know the reasons
why I like to tap and twitch
it's like havin' poison ivy
but you just can't scratch the itch
maybe when I'm a little older
I'll stop and smell the roses
but for now I'm happy
just to wiggle all my toes-es
I CAN'T SIT STILL
I CAN'T SIT STILL
don't want to be a pain
please let me explain
I CAN'T SIT STILL
I CAN'T SIT STILL
but it's okay
I will someday
back about a week ago
I met a girl that you might know
she's not that tall
in fact - she's small
but she is quite a little lady
and when she was born her parents named her
Jumpin' Beans O'Grady
"Now, what kind of name is that?" you ask
"Why, that is down right mean!"
"What kind of parents name a little baby Jumpin' Beans?!"
well, they must have had a feeling
for when she was very small
before she learned to walk
before she even learned to crawl
one day - for no reason at all
she started bouncing like a ball
around the room and down the hall
across the table - off the wall
her parents were amazed
it was the strangest thing they'd ever seen
but they knew then that they were keen
to name their baby Jumpin' Beans
Now, when she was old enough for school
the kids all thought she was so cool
they loved the way she jumped and pounced
and how she sprang and sprung and bounced
but I must tell you
that the teachers didn't like it
not at all
they'd say, "YOUNG LADY! MISS O'GRADY!
STOP THAT BOUNCING OFF THE WALL!
THERE'LL BE NO JUMPING IN YOUR SEAT!
NO MORE HOPPING IN THE HALL!
NOW YOU SIT STILL!"
and she'd say, "I will"
and she would - she'd be good
just as long as she could
she knew she shouldn't move a hair
but sometimes - it was just too much to bear
and so
she'd - shoot - out - of - her - chair - into - the - air - just - like - a -
coiled - spring - and - bing - and - bang - and - bounce - and - bop - on - every
- single - thing - around - the - room - a - hundred - times - or - so - backwards
- forwards - to - and - fro - I - don't - know - how - she - did - it - it -
was - really - quite - a - feat - but - by - a - miracle - she - always - landed
- right - back - in - her - seat
and when her teacher
stood and spoke
she'd say "Is this some kind of joke?
I've told you ten times, maybe more!
Now what is all that jumping for?"
then Jumpin' Beans would say
" I'm sorry Ma'am
please don't be sore!
it's just that
well...
...you see...I...I...
I dropped my pencil on the floor!"
I would NEVER pull a stunt like that
not even if you paid me
then again
my parents
didn't name me
Jumpin' Beans O'Grady
there once was a pirate
who ruled the dark sea
from Tiera Del Fuego
to Waikiki
with a silken bandanna
and an earring of gold
and a wart on the nose
(or so I am told)
a scar that time would not erase
and a few knocked out teeth
that left a big space
Yes, there was just one thing
that seemed out of place
something was missing from this pirate's face
on the cheeks and the chin
there was not a trace
of a beard
(now that's weird)
because pirates have always had beards
that's no mystery
if you don't believe me
let's look back in history
there was Blackbeard and Redbeard
Yellowbeard and Blue
I think there was Greybeard and maybe Green too
but on this pirate's face not a single hair grew
so they called this one "Nobeard"
and the name stuck like glue
Now, as far as Nobeard was concerned
that was fine
because a nickname is something
a pirate doesn't mind
but if you ever laughed at Nobeard's smooth cheeks
you'd be locked down below
for seventeen weeks
and if Nobeard was not in a very good mood
you'd be walking the plank
and then you'd be fish food
well, one day a kind of new guy on the crew
did something that no one had ever dared do
he walked right up to Nobeard and bravely he said
"Captain how come you ain't got no beard on your head?"
well, a very strange look filled ol' Nobeard's good eye
in all these years no one had ever asked "WHY?"
it really was quite an amazing surprise
Nobeard said "You come over Here! and on the double!! "
the rogue pirate thought he was really in trouble
he started to tremble
his face filled with fear
then Nobeard leaned over and said in his ear
" To ask me that question's a brave thing to do
so I'll tell you a secret
I swear that it's true
it's something no guy on this crew ever knew
the reason that I've got no whiskers is this
Y'see I'm not a Mister - I'm really a MISS!"
and now you know the secret
that pirate was told
for asking the question
so brave and so bold
but don't laugh at Nobeard
You will live to regret it
'cuz she's still a pirate
and don't you forget it
Mister Aster was a master
a master maker of machines
he made machines
the likes of which
you've never heard or even seen
machines that mop
machines that mow
machines that mix and mend and sew
machines to clean the in-betweens
of all your teeth and all your toes
who knows
how many kinds of keen machines
this Mister Aster made
well, everybody wanted these miraculous machines
that fix and fetch
and floss and flush
so they might live like kings and queens
poor Mister Aster
he had to make them faster
he made them every moment
every minute - every hour
he made them in his deepest sleep
and even when he took a shower
but
he just couldn't keep up
so
Mister Aster got a notion
and he got it into motion
and with hard work and devotion
he made himself the mightiest
most monstrous, magnificent machine
that had ever been
it stood ninety feet by one-sixteen
solid steel and shiny clean
I am told
it was a thing of beauty to behold
but then everyone said
"Well, what can it do?"
"Can it cook? Can it clean?
Can it paint my house blue?"
he said
"No! None of these! Please!"
"This here machine
is to make my life easy!
and he switched the thing on
and by all it was seen
this machine he had made
was for making - more machines!
it could make any kind of machine
you could need
it was a glorious moment, indeed
Mr. Aster was freed
it was just as he planned
he was happy at last
he had time on his hands
no more machines to be made
it was grand
But...
...that didn't last long
poor Mister Aster
he was wrong
it was a disaster
now he had too much free time
and nothing to do
and so this tale of woe is through
the lesson is clear
and these words are true
never make a machine
that is better than you.